Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Tack care when ur wife ask you !!!!

WIFE: 'Let me ask you a question.

HUSBAND: 'Oh, Lord, let's not do this'

WIFE: 'What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?'

HUSBAND: 'Definitely not!'

WIFE: 'Why not - don't you like being married?'

HUSBAND: 'Of course I do.'

WIFE: 'Then why wouldn't you remarry?'

HUSBAND: 'Okay, I'd get married again.'

WIFE: 'You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).'

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).

WIFE: 'Would you live in our house?'

HUSBAND: 'Sure, it's a great house.'

WIFE: 'Would you sleep with her in our bed?'

HUSBAND: 'Where else would we sleep?'

WIFE: 'Would you let her drive my car?'

HUSBAND: 'Probably, it is almost new.'

WIFE: 'Would you replace my pictures with hers?'

HUSBAND: 'That would seem like the proper thing to do.'

WIFE: 'Would she use my golf clubs?'

HUSBAND: 'No, she's left-handed.'

WIFE: - - - silence - -

HUSBAND: 'Opps !'

Monday, January 29, 2007

Friends Forever!

Friends Forever!
Written with a pen
Sealed with a kiss
If you are my friend,
Please answer this:
Are we friends or are we not?
You told me once, but I forgot.
So tell me now and tell me true,
So I can say, I am here for you.
Of all the friends I've ever met,
You're the ones I won't forget.
And if I die before you do,
I'll go to Heaven
And wait for you.

Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a
FRIEND, including the one who sent it to you. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.
Send this to.............
0-2 peeps you are a Bad friend.Booo!!!
3-5 peeps you are an OK Friend!
4-6 peeps you are a Good friend!!
u have read this mail and i believe u understand,but take a deep breath and think if u really mean this to me or i mean this to u then send it back if i do if u dont .........dont think i'll be dissappointed bcos it definately means that u mean nothing to me(refrence to my last mail'to ya all'
i love all my friends and i stretch a friendship to acquintances.

Difference between Friends and Best friend

Friend: calls your parents by mr. and mrs.
Best friend:
calls your parents dad & mom or tito & tita.

has never seen you cry
Best friend:
has always has the best shoulder to cry on

never asks for anything to eat or drink
Best friend:
opens the fridge &! makes himself at home

asks you to write down your number.
Best friend:
they ask you for their number (cuz they can't remember it)

borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
Best friend:
has a closet full of your stuff

only knows a few things about you
Best friend:
could write a biography on your life story

: will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
Best friend:
will always go with you
Friend: will ask where you've been (after going AWOL)
Best Friend: will say MISS YOU & goes on being your friend

would delete this letter
Best friend:
will send this back to me and all of their online buddies

90/10 rule - Stephen Covey

Author: Stephen Covey

Discover the 90/10 Principle.

It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations).
What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.
What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.
We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic.
We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.
How? ……….By your reaction.
You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.
Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.
What happens next will be determined by how you react.
You curse.
You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.
Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.
After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.
When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.
Why? …. Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is “D".
You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.
Because of how you REACTED.
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you!
React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?
WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?
Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.
You are told you lost your job.
Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.
The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take outpour frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on.
Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.
Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.
The result?
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.
It CAN change your life!!!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Q.s & A.s

1- Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for?

Husband: Nothing.

Wife: Nothing...?? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour??

Husband: I was just looking 4 the expiry date.


2- Q - What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?

A - One Woman Brings you into this world crying... and the other ensures you Continue to do so.


3- Wife: Do you want dinner?

Husband: Sure, what are my choices?

Wife: Yes and no.


4- Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"


5- Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.

Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.


6- Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.


7- A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU the FORTUNE"


8- Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."


9- Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"

Millionaire: "Billionaire"


10 Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.

The guy replies: Thanks for the warning. hahahahaha


11- A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Job opportunities with a global FMCG group in Heliopolis & Maadi, Cairo, Egypt

Our client
Is a Global FMCG group with premier brands and a market leader within its product sector? Due to expansion the company seeks to fill the following positions for its branches in Maadi &Heliopolis.
The Company
  • Working hours from 8:00 To 4:30 and its 2 days off
  • Offers competitive financial package 14 monthly salary+ Medical & Life Insurance+ Mobile allowance
  • Company car for the Managerial positions.
Start Date:
March 2007
Position Title
Payroll Manager /FMCG-01-2007
Position level
Job Responsibilities:
âManage the monthly payroll cycle, including wage garnishments, vacation and sick tracking, additional benefits and commissions.
âResponsible for the accuracy of the payroll database system.
âPerform accounting functions related to the processing of payroll and administers the benefits.
âAdminister all work related to employees' contracts, i.e., pay and benefits, insurance, security clearance, employee order requests, gratuity payments, leave monitoring, termination pay computation, personnel performance and correspondence
Job Requirements:
5-7 years experience.
Proficient in working with Payroll.
Proficient PC Skills, principally with Microsoft Word, Excel, PowerPoint.
Ability to learn other data base programs.
Ability to lead six subordinates with professional training and mentoring
Team work Leadership and management skills.
Position Title
Payroll Specialist FMCG-02-2007
Position level
Job Responsibilities:
  • Runs the monthly payroll cycle.
  • Performs accounting functions.
Job Requirements:
â1-2 years experience
âProficient PC skills, principally with Microsoft Word, Excel, PowerPoint.
âAble to type minimum 50 WPM
âAbility to learn other data base programs.
Position Title
Office Manager FMCG-03-2007
Position level
Professional / Managerial
Job Responsibilities:
âReport to the Chairman.
âRead and analyze incoming memos and reports in order to determine their significance and plan their distribution.
âSort and distribute incoming correspondence, including faxes and email.
Prepare responses to correspondence containing routine inquiries.
âFile and retrieve corporate documents, records, and reports.
âPerform general office duties such as ordering supplies, maintaining records management systems, and performing basic bookkeeping work.
âMake travel arrangements for the Chairman.
Job Requirements:
5-7 years experience
Excellent computer skills (word processing- spread sheets- outlook-internet)
Excellent command of English language (written and spoken)
Position Title
Finance Manager FMCG-04-2007
Position level
Job Responsibilities:
âReport to the Chairman
âPrepare, examine, and analyze accounting records, financial statements, and other financial reports to assess accuracy, completeness, and conformance to reporting and procedural standards.
âCompute taxes owed and prepare tax returns, ensuring compliance with payment, reporting and other tax requirements.
âAnalyze business operations, trends, costs, revenues, financial commitments, and obligations, to project future revenues and expenses or to provide advice.
âReport to management regarding the finances of establishment.
âDevelop, maintain, and analyze budgets, preparing periodic reports that compare budgeted costs to actual costs.
âDevelop, implement, and modify, record keeping and accounting systems, making use of current computer technology.
âPrepare forms and manuals for accounting and bookkeeping personnel, and direct their work activities.
âSurvey operations to ascertain accounting needs and to recommend, develop, and maintain solutions to business and financial problems.
Job Requirements:
7-10 years experience
Excellent computer skills (spread sheets)
Excellent command of English language (written and spoken)
Position Title
Senior Financial Analyst - FMCG-07-2007
Position level
Job Responsibilities:
âProvide financial expertise in the review and analysis of financial information for resource allocation, management of short-term cash flow, control and reporting, expenditure and revenue justification, and project costing.
âDevelop detailed financial plans and reports by conducting data collection, identifying financial goals and objectives, analyzing financial history and records, preparing financial tables, evaluating financial performance indicators, and researching investment opportunities.
âConduct special, analytical studies and surveys on a variety of functions, such as risk analysis and assessment, financial performance and overhead projections.
âRecommend financial proposals concerning the strategic management of funds and cash flow, projections on accounts receivable and payable.
Job Requirements:
3-5 years experience
Excellent computer skills (spread sheets)
Excellent command of English language (written and spoken)
Position Title
Technical Support Manager - FMCG-08-2007
Position level
Job Responsibilities:
âManage and coordinate through subordinate supervisors the day-to-day provision of effective customer technical support services in a timely, cost effective manner.
âDefine section goals and objectives and ensures communication to employees for effective customer technical support services.
âDevelop and ensure implementation of policies, procedures and quality standards and monitoring systems to track issues and compliance.
âPlan and ensures optimum use of resources; administer and monitors use against budget.
âDevelop technical support plans.
âProvide liaison with product support and quality assurance, as necessary.
Job Requirements:
5-7 years experience
Strong software/hardware fault recognition and remedy skills.
Position Title
Senior Programmer/Analyst - FMCG-09-2007
Position level
Job Responsibilities:
âConduct analysis on segments of current automated systems based on program requirements and known deficiencies.
âParticipate in studies concerning potential systems applications, and prepares design recommendations to reflect costs, time and alternative solutions to systems problems.
âAssist in the development, testing, and installation of computer software programs.
Job Requirements:
3-5 years experience
Experience with Windows NT operating system
Good understanding of network protocols such as TCP/IP with respect to SQL Server & Windows 95
Position Title
Senior Web Master FMCG-10-2007
Position level
Job Responsibilities:
âManage the day-to-day operation of the Web site including the transfer, testing, and updating of Web materials.
âSpecify display standards for Web documents.
âEnsure that all submitted documents meet those standards.
âConvert submitted materials to Web documents.
âSecure programming, graphics word-processing and authoring support as needed.
âResearch new Web features and tools which might be useful for authoring documents.
Job Requirements:
3-5 years experience
using Oracle Database & Oracle JV Developer10g
Interested applicants:
Please send your resume within 10 days to :
Maadi Business Resource Center
HR Outsourcing & Recruitment Services
P.O. Box 466 Maadi, Cairo, Egypt -
Postal Code: 11728
Indicating the job code in the email subject line.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Gender Test

Gender Test ( Funny )
Important Test !!!
Are You Male or Female ???
To Know The Answer, Look Down ...
Jaraghe Group

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