Wedding Anniversary

A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."

"Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband," said the wife. The fairy moved her magic stick and - abracadabra! - two tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.

Now it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said, "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so I'm sorry, my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me".

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish... So the fairy made a circle with her magic stick, and -abracadabra! - the husband became 92 years old.

Are you ready to sell tomatoes?

Tomato Story

A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.

The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither! an email'.

'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job.'

The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.
He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours,
he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times,
and returned home with $60.

The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.

Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in theUS
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to! have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.
When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.
The man replied,'I don't have an email.'
The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'
Moral of the story

Moral 1
Internet is not the solution to your life.

Moral 2
If you don't have Internet, but work hard, you can be a millionaire.
Moral 3
If you received this message by email,
you are closer to being an office boy/girl, than a millionaire..........


Please - Do not forward this email back to me,
I am closing my email account & going to sell tomatoes!!!

Regular Health Mistakes

All of us make little health mistakes that cause damage to our bodies in the long run - simply because we are unaware we are doing something wrong. Here are some of the most common mistakes made by many of us.

Crossing our legs
Do you cross your legs at your knees when sitting? Although we may believe that this is the lady-like elegant way to sit, sitting this way cuts down circulation to your legs. If you don"t want varicose veins to mar the beauty of your legs and compromise your health, uncross your legs every time you realise you have one knee on top of the other. The best way to sit is to simply place both legs together on the floor, balancing your weight equally. If you feel like changing position, instead of crossing your legs, simply move both legs together to one side. As an alternative, you could also consider crossing your legs loosely at the ankles. This is a classically elegant way to sit, and is far better for your legs and your health than sitting with your legs crossed at your knees.

Not changing our toothbrush
How often do you change your toothbrush? Most of us wait until most of the bristles have either fallen off, or are in such bad shape that we"d be embarrassed to pull out our brush in public. However, since not many of us need to pull out our brush in public, we carry on with our frayed one until we lose it. Replace your toothbrush often. Damaged bristles can harm the enamel, and don"t massage your gums well. If you find brushing your teeth a pain like I do, but know you must do it, you might as well be doing it right. Imagine going through the annoyance of brushing your teeth twice a day only to find out that you"re damaging your enamel every time you clean your teeth. Also, use a brush with soft bristles unless your dentist has advised otherwise.

Eating out often
There are oils that are high in cholesterol, and oils that cause little harm and are better for your heart. However, no matter how light
the oil is, it is never a good idea to eat too much of it. Avoid fried foods.Remember that in all probability your favorite Indian food
restaurant throws a huge, HUGE chunk of butter in a tiny bowl of dal. Rita, who worked in the kitchen of a 5 star hotel, was shocked when she saw the cook chop a 500gm butter slab in half, and throw half into a Paneer Makhani dish. No wonder the customers left licking their fingers. And no wonder they felt so stuffed and heavy afterwards. Limit outdoor eating unless you know that you"re getting served light and healthy food.

Skipping breakfast
Never, ever skip breakfast. Remember, when you wake up in the morning it"s been around 10-12 hours since your last meal. Your body needs food now, more than at any other time. Eat a heavy breakfast. You will then be busy through the day, and the calories will get expended quickly. If you are trying to diet, eat a light dinner. Here are some more common health mistakes we make. Being informed and making a few changes can help make us feel a whole lot better.

High heels
High heels sure look great, but they're murder for your back. This however doesn't mean you should steer clear of stilettos. Wear them, but not when you know you will be walking around a lot. Wear them when going out for lunch or dinner - when the only walking you will be doing is to your car, to the table, and back. Avoid high heels when you are going somewhere on foot. If you are constantly tempted to wear your heels, take a good look at your flats. Is there something about them you dislike? Invest in a new pair of beautiful flats or shoes with a low heel. Buy something you love, that you will enjoy wearing. If possible, get a matching bag. You will then enjoy your flats as much as you do your heels.

Sleeping on a soft bed
You don't have to sleep on the floor be kind to your back, but do make sure you have a firm mattress. Although a mattress on springs is soft and lovely to sink into, it's bad for your back. If you already have an old bed with springs, you don't need to invest in a new one - simply get a thick wooden plank put over the springs, and place the mattress on the plank. Similarly, if your mattress is old and lumpy, throw it out and get a new one. Your neck and your back will thank you. The same rule applies to sofas. If you will be spending hours on a sofa, get a firm yet comfortable one. Sofas you completely sink into are not the best idea.

Pillows
No matter how comfortable sleeping with ten cushions is, have pity on your neck and resist. Sleep with one pillow, and make sure it is not too thick. If your pillow gets lumpy, discard it and go for a new one. Get a thin pillow if you sleep on your stomach, and something a little thicker if you sleep on your back, to give your neck adequate support.

Not exercising
So all of us know we should exercise more, but many of us don't. This is a health mistake we consciously make! And why is that? Simply because we refuse to admit the damage we are causing to our bodies by not working out. A number of people only start working out once they've experienced a warning signal. Don't wait for a heart attack to strike before you decide to opt for a lifestyle change. Make the change now. You don't need to train for the marathon to be in top shape. Half an hour of brisk walking three to four times a week will make a world of difference to your health. You could then increase this to forty minutes, four times a week - and you're all set. If you haven't exercised for a week, you're making a mistake.

VERY INTERESTING STUFF

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb"

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Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S . Treasury.

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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

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Coca-Cola was originally green.

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It is impossible to lick your elbow.

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The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:

Alaska

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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)

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The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

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The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400

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The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour:

61,000

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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

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The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David

Hearts - Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds - Julius Caesar

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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

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Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

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Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace

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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession

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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?

A. One thousand

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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All were invented by women.

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Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey

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Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?

A. Father's Day

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In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured onbed frames by ropes.

When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."

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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."

It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

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Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

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At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!

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Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

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YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to!

Always …… Love Your parents!

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new."
My Mom



"The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny."

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life."





"Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible."



My Daddy



"How pleasant it is for a father to sit at his child's board. It is like an aged man reclining under the shadow of an oak which he has planted."


Always …… Love Your parents!

Ha ha ha...

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway
when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, "Why don`t you eat the peanuts yourself?".

"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"

The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."

Nutrition Updates

TO PREVENT STROKE DRINK TEA!

Prevent buildup of fatty deposits on artery walls with regular doses of tea. (actually, tea suppresses my appetite and keeps the pounds from invading....Green tea is great for our immune system)!

INSOMNIA (CAN'T SLEEP?) HONEY!
Use honey as a tranquilizer and sedative.

ASTHMA? EAT ONIONS!!!!
Eating onions helps ease constriction of bronchial tubes. (when I was young, my mother would make onion packs to place on our chest, helped the respiratory ailments and actually made us breathe better).

ARTHRITIS? EAT FISH, TOO!!
Salmon, tuna, mackerel and sardines actually prevent arthritis. (fish has omega oils, good for our immune system)

UPSET STOMACH? BANANAS - GINGER!!!!!
Bananas will settle an upset stomach.
Ginger will cure morning sickness and nausea.

BLADDER INFECTION? DRINK CRANBERRY JUICE!!!!
High-acid cranberry juice controls harmful bacteria.

BONE PROBLEMS? EAT PINEAPPLE!!!
Bone fractures and osteoporosis can be prevented by the manganese in pineapple.

PREMENSTRUAL SYNDROME? EAT CORNFLAKES!!!!
Women can ward off the effects of PMS with cornflakes, which help reduce depression, anxiety and fatigue.

MEMORY PROBLEMS? EAT OYSTERS!
Oysters help improve your mental functioning by supplying much-needed zinc.

COLDS? EAT GARLIC!
Clear up that stuffy head with garlic. (remember, garlic lowers cholesterol, too.)

COUGHING? USE RED PEPPERS!!
A substance similar to that found in the cough syrups is found in hot red pepper. Use red (cayenne) pepper with caution-it can irritate your tummy.

BREAST CANCER? EAT Wheat, bran and cabbage
Helps to maintain estrogen at healthy levels.

LUNG CANCER? EAT DARK GREEN AND ORANGE AND VEGGIES!!!
A good antidote is beta carotene, a form of Vitamin A found in dark green and orange vegetables.

ULCERS? EAT CABBAGE ALSO!!!
Cabbage contains chemicals that help heal both gastric and duodenal ulcers.

DIARRHEA? EAT APPLES!
Grate an apple with its skin, let it turn brown and eat it to cure this condition. (Bananas are good for this ailment)

CLOGGED ARTERIES? EAT AVOCADO!
Mono unsaturated fat in avocados lowers cholesterol.

HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE? EAT CELERY AND OLIVE OIL!!!
Olive oil has been shown to lower blood pressure.
Celery contains a chemical that lowers pressure too.

BLOOD SUGAR IMBALANCE? EAT BROCCOLI AND PEANUTS!!!
The chromium in broccoli and peanuts helps regulate insulin and blood sugar.

HEADACHE? EAT FISH!
Eat plenty of fish -- fish oil helps prevent headaches.
So does ginger, which reduces inflammation and pain.

HAY FEVER? EAT YOGURT!
Eat lots of yogurt before pollen season.
Also-eat honey from your area (local region) daily.

Kiwi: Tiny but mighty. This is a good source of potassium, magnesium, Vitamin E &fiber. It's Vitamin C content is twice that of an orange.

Apple: An apple a day keeps the doctor away? Although an apple has a low Vitamin C content, it has antioxidants &flavonoids which enhances the activity of Vitamin C thereby helping to lower the risks of colon cancer, heart attack & stroke.

Strawberry: Protective fruit. Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power among major fruits &protects the body from cancer causing, blood vessels clogging free radicals. (Actually, any berry is good for you..they're high in anti-oxidants and they actually keep us young.........blueberries are the best and very versatile in the health field........they get rid of all the free-radicals that invade our bodies)

Orange: Sweetest medicine. Taking 2 - 4 oranges a day may help keep colds away, lower cholesterol, prevent & dissolve kidney stones as well as lessen the risk of colon cancer.

Watermelon: Coolest Thirst Quencher. Composed of 92% water, it is also packed with a giant dose of glutathione which helps boost our immune system. They are also a key source of lycopene - the cancer fighting oxidant. Other nutrients found in watermelon are Vitamin C &Potassium. (watermelon also has natural substances [natural SPF sources] that keep our skin healthy, protecting our skin from those darn suv rays)

Guava &Papaya: Top awards for Vitamin C. They are the clear winners for their high Vitamin C content. Guava is also rich in fiber which helps prevent constipation.

Papaya is rich in carotene, this is good for your eyes. (also good for gas and indigestion)

Tomatoes are very good as a preventative measure for men, keeps those prostrate problems from invading their bodies.

Who is Clever? Teacher or student?‏

One Night 4 College Students Were Playing Till Late Night And Didn't Study For The Test Which Was Scheduled For The Next Day. In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car! all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test. So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they will be ready by that time.On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.
Q.1. Your Name........ ......... ........( 2 MARKS )
Q.2. Which tyre burst ?........... ....( 98 MARKS )
a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right .....!!!

VERY VERY NICE‏

OOH MAN I'M TIRED!

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

'Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.'

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. -

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate,

awakened the kids,

set out their school clothes,

fed them breakfast,

packed their lunches,

drove them to school,

came home and

picked up the dry cleaning,

took it to the cleaners and

stopped at the bank to make a deposit,

went grocery shopping,

then drove home to put away the groceries,

paid the bills and

balanced the check book.

He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

Then it was already 1P.M. and he hurried to make the beds,

do the laundry,

vacuum,

dust, and

sweep and

Mop the kitchen floor.

Ran to the school to pick up the kids and

got into an argument with them on the way home.

Set out milk and cookies and

got the kids organized to do their homework,

then set up the ironing board and

watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and

washing vegetables for salad,

breaded the pork chops and

snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen,

ran the dishwasher,

folded laundry,

bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished,

he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said:

-'Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my

wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh! oh! please, let us trade back.'

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:

'My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months though. You got pregnant last night.'

This has been voted Women's Favorite E-mail of the Year!

If you agree, send it to all your friends who would enjoy this?

I just did!